Sometimes its like i'm in a bad film.
A very bad film.
A film where from start to finish the main character just keeps getting constantly attacked because the writer didn't want a cliche happy ending.
Sometimes its like i can't trust happiness. Its like the moment i feel safe. Happy.
Someone or something sees it and takes it away from me.
Sometimes it feels people walk into my life just to share for a small moment of time what i have.
Then when they pretty much have everything they leave again.
Without so much as a goodbye.
When someone tells you they love you every day you start to believe them. You start to believe that you have something worth wanting. You start to feel as if you have the power to make someone happy.
That nothing in world matters as long as they keep saying they love you.
- but when they stop,
and they walk away.
and they stop telling you.
Its like every single problem you was ignoring comes rushing back and it breaks you and crumbles you.
until you cry and you can't stop crying.
and you fall to the floor and keep falling and you try to reach up to hold on that little chance of beautiful light dangling itself infront of you.
It takes awhile but you get used to the dark. You get use to seeing the light but not being able to have it. You become so used to the pain that it numbs you.
But then what if the light's given back to you? What if they needed to know that they could still have you.
That they're still wanted.
Still needed.
Can still make someone happy.
Then they come back and take you out of the darkness.
They make you feel like that the empty feeling in your stomach is butterflies.
They make you feel like the tears you cried were worth it. that you're worth it.
Until they wake up and realise they don't need you.
They leave you by text.
and then the world stops spinning and the darkness comes back laughing and screaming that you'll never be happy.
and they'll get their happy ending and their sucess and their beautiful love story.
because their writer is on their side.
and they'll be fine, and they won't remember you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFtaSNiGWuc
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