and to you, i'm sorry.

Play this then read http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryoykj8us00

Today I took a different turn down my street.

today...

I passed the drugged up homeless man. He had served our country for 10yrs.

When he came home he found his wife in bed with another man, after he suffered from a nervous break down she took everything.

Other then his two kids, she was his only family. I pretended I never saw him

I walked past the wealthy business man with an empty briefcase, he’d just been made redundant and though he was walking tall, he felt like the smallest man in the world. I never gave him a second thought.

I sat on a bench next to an old lady wearing knee high boots and red lipstick; she just wanted her first kiss before she passes away. I moved benches

I stared at the disgustingly heavy fat girl eating a doughnut. She had just come from her best friend’s funeral. Her best friend died of an eating disorder. She was the fat girl’s closest thing to ever having a sister. I laughed and whispered to my friends about her.

I bitched about the girl with the orange face. Her boyfriend makes her feel worthless, ugly. He hit her last night, she where’s the make up to cover the bruises. She’s to scared to leave him, not because of the abuse but because she thinks that no one will ever love her. I just assumed she was a slag.

Today I pushed pasted the old man walking slowly in front of me because I was in a rush. He’ll be going home tonight to an empty flat, he’ll kiss his wife’s picture and spray her side of the bed with her favourite perfume. So when he sleeps he won’t feel so alone. I never turned round to say sorry.

Tomorrow I’ll smile at the man still living for nothing. I’ll smile at the man with the brave look on his face and the lady who’s still dreaming. I’ll send a smile to the fat girl who didn’t torture herself to fit in, I’ll smile to the girl who’ll do anything to be loved Today I’ll smile at the old romantic who meant the words “till death do we part.”

Tomorrow I’ll take that same wrong turn but this time I’ll smile at the strangers, so for that one moment they know that the whole worlds not against them.

It was just a smile.

“All my love”

Hatter. ♥

Here ended th lesson.

play this then read http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzuo_UObpuA
Today I walked into a room full of mirrors. 

I don’t know how?

Or why I was there?

I just was.

It was another lesson.

They looked at me with judgement.

They stood in all different shapes and sizes.

They towered over; I’d be a liar to say I wasn’t intimidated by what I saw.

I span round and became confronted with myself, my hair was a mess and my make up ran of my face.

I turned again and my body was huge, disgustingly heavy so much so I didn’t fit in the mirror.

I twirled to see my stick thin frame ready to collapse.

Again and again I circled round to see my body form with imperfections.

I had no bust in one, my eyes where black in another.

I was invisible tall, then ridiculously small.

They were laughing at me. 

Over powering me.

Putting twisted images in my head!

Making me feel insecure! making me feel intimidated! Threaten! Ugly!

I smashed!

hit back!

… but I was weak

They stood there in numbers,

I managed to hit back at one,

On the floor laid shattered glass and init was a stereotyped defeat image of myself.

I was the underdog, but not yet the victim.

I got back with blood and scars, and stood up firm. Holding my ground.

The moment I did. The second I believed, the mirrors where gone.  

Here ended th lesson.

It was just a thought.

“All my love,”

Hatter. ♥

the wall

play then read..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7H47oQH1TW4

I was wondering through the forest with no hope of ever escaping. The trees had caved over to hide any light, and the thick air around me was heavy.

I was lost?

I fell to my knees.

When I looked up with sunken eyes, there he stood back turned against me.

I approached with caution someone I once saw so strong.

Felt cold, weak.

Doubted him self.

I told him to turn around and bring his face in to the glittering light.

But he was afraid of what I might see.

I told him to be proud, but he had no drive.

I told him to stand, but the pressure was too heavy on his shoulders.

He started to build a wall from the dirt and I watched.

I watched him struggle,

He was stronger then this.

I scream and scratched and begged him to stop.

Suddenly he saw something striking; it brought back his drive, his strength.

He saw something in himself.

With inspiration, came self belief and hope was whispering, “one more time.”

As he turned the glitter began to form.

He smiled, the wall crashed down around him…

The forest had life again.

it was just a memory

"all my love"
Hatter. ♥

Grabbing at air

play this and read...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k19Zz-8DXss 

Today my biggest dream was to catch a fairy from a dandelion, I chased and chased and ran. I soared, I flew I circled. I fell. I was in complete awe of what I wanted.

My hands reached out with the sun beaming down and as I skipped with my hands wide open, I went for it.

I took that massive lunged and swung round to face my fist. I froze. In fear. With the thought of what if I hadn’t caught it?

What if I missed my chance?

What if I couldn’t make my wish?

I opened my hand to see that I grabbed at air.

There was nothing for me to wish for, no hope, no faith, no beauty.

My heart sunk, if it was to beat now it would break my chest.

… but I stopped for a second, in that one moment time had frozen. The stars where out I realised I had been running for ages on false hope.

I looked up and they looked back at me in their thousands with smiles on their faces. Why make one wish, I thought.

When I have so many things worth living for.

Why should I put all my effort in to chasing one fairy, when I have all the shooting stars in the sky to follow, and so many reasons to live as bright amongst them? To never feel disappointed.

It was just a thought.

"All my love,"

Hatter.